Maintaining a gorgeous outdoor yard thriving with plant life and complete with decor from Outdoor Art Pros is significantly easier than keeping indoor plants alive. We don’t all have the green thumbs, and if we are honest, most of us have been guilty of second-degree plant-slaughter by neglect, haven’t we? It might be a secret burden of shame we must carry, but it is just the slightest bit understandable. When life gets the better of one, with its endless lists of urgent to-do’s, you can’t be blamed for forgetting to spritz your delicate and very needy fern gently.
Unfortunately, your sensitive little fern will instead promptly decide to collapse dead. For a less psychologically scarring botanical experience, you could consider turning to some of the less flimsy and sensitive options on the market. This doesn’t mean you have to get some rough and tumble, streetwise ruffian alley cactus. There are compromises, and we have put together a list of our top picks for hardy house plants.
Moth Orchid
Orchids are notoriously difficult to keep alive. We are honestly surprised that they haven’t gone the way of the Dodo. The sheer amount of tending required is unbelievable. Nevermind a plant that only blossoms if the moon is smiling just so while you caress the air around it with seventeen different crystals and chant Aztec devotions in perfect pitch while balancing on one toe.
Then there is the rebel in the family. The Moth Orchid defies expectation by not corroding to dust every time you look away. The Moth Orchid is one of the more resilient flowering houseplants you get. It prefers a more arid climate, requiring less watering. Missing a day won’t mean a floral funeral. What’s more, is it blossoms more than once every trillion years. As much as twice a year for that matter, a massive improvement over it’s fragile relations.
Ponytail Palm
As resilient as its name is stupid, the Ponytail Palm seems built for the apocalypse. We are told you would have to try to kill it. It can survive scorching summer temperatures, which will be a plus once a particular president is quite finished destroying the world and denying climate change. We can picture it now, our dapper little Ponytail Palm basking in the glow of nuclear winter.
Branching out in the family tree, palms, on the whole, tend to be on the more resilient end of the spectrum. While some subspecies do require a bit more care, most are unlikely to decay before your eyes every time a cold breeze rattles their leaves. If you cannot keep a palm alive, we advise avoiding any parental responsibilities. Or any orchids.
Succulents
Relaxed and unobtrusive, succulents can conveniently be forgotten about for days at a time. Just like an old cat, you can pretty much leave it a bowl of water, and it will do the rest. Unlike an old cat, it won’t try to catch pigeons, which is something we appreciate in a house plant. Succulents draw moisture from the ground, so it is that simple.
The only risk with these unassuming little survivalists is overwatering. They are not the ideal gift for your over-attentive nan, surviving best with minimal fuss and being left to a spot with moderate, but not direct sunlight. We have one in the office, and it has survived criminal neglect, looking none the worse for it and subsequently not communicating our gross inability actually to take care of it.
